


We don't talk about it (for now)

by rtmr



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Dialogue Heavy, Fluff, Love Confessions, M/M, Mild Angst, Mild Language, Sickfic, in second ch at least
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-28
Updated: 2020-01-13
Packaged: 2021-02-18 21:37:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22000249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rtmr/pseuds/rtmr
Summary: Today is the day Jongin confesses.Not even his own body betraying him can stop him.Sehun isn't amused at all.
Relationships: Kim Jongin | Kai/Oh Sehun
Comments: 12
Kudos: 91





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Here's another short fic lol
> 
> I actually wanted to write a proper confession but maybe ill just add it when I feel like it but this is good for now

It’s painfully obvious, though Jongin thinks he’s playing it pretty cool. However, sweat collects at his temples, eyes unfocused and drowsy, skin pale and shoulders weighing down with an all over ache. Jongin is fine—he’s standing on his own two feet and making words come out of his mouth semi-coherently and he’s only thrown up twice during dance practice without being caught on his way to the restroom (but he has been caught, by Taemin, who’s suggested he go home before he kicks him out, though Jongin only hears what’s convenient).

To Jongin, he’s fine, alive, but to anyone else with any sense, Jongin is extremely sick and on death’s door. He’s been dragging his feet with an unsteady gait, and dangerously close to a few churns of his stomach away from being face deep in his sports bag and hurling. He swallows down another wave of nausea, tries to focus his eyes the best he can, and forces himself to get through the day.

Because today is the day he’s marked on his calendar, hyped himself up to for months. There’s no turning back, and something like a mildly severe flu can’t stop him. He’s a man on a mission, a missile seeking its target, and he’s aiming for dead center.

Jongin is going to confess his undying love and today is the day!

His feet wobble for a second, but he’s good.

“I’m good,” Jongin recites after a near collision with the practice room floor. Taemin isn’t impressed; in fact, he’s beyond done dealing with his friend’s single dying brain cell. He agrees to Jongin’s words with mumbled exasperation and whips out his phone briefly before tossing it towards his bag somewhere out of Jongin’s vision. Dance practice is still ongoing, usually going on for another half hour, so Jongin tries spinning on his own axis while the room spins the other way.

Then, the chatter of the other dancers, the beat of shoes on tiled floors, the rustling of clothing and any other tiny sound tapers into a ringing silence. Or, as someone so acutely attuned to the all-encompassing presence of one Oh Sehun, the world naturally zeroes in on the object of Jongin’s disastrously gay affections.

Taemin audibly gags at Jongin’s dopey smile at being met with the sudden visage of Sehun, and the world framing the pretty man blurs around the edges—though it’s unclear whether it’s from the fever creating a perfect hallucination before Jongin inevitably succumbs to his untimely demise.

However, it’s not quite the image he’s used to—because instead of being met with Sehun’s usual neutral expression or small, soft smiles, he’s greeted by narrowed eyes, furrowed eyebrows, and a deep scowl. _Uh oh_ , Jongin thinks, but not because he's clearly in trouble, but because, maybe, he’s not expecting another sexual awakening that he can attribute to his best friend this soon. But also, _wow_ , that look is pretty hot.

The dumb grin on Jongin’s face worsens as he giggles like a mad man truly in love—or at least one that’s absolutely railed by flu symptoms because in all honesty, he would have attempted to not look like such a desperate fool. Tried to look somewhat cool, lean on a wall in practiced nonchalance like some bad boy type or reenacted a kabedon on Sehun even if Sehun is just the tiniest bit taller. And broader. Maybe not go through with the flower petals blowing in the wind by a picturesque river scenario because wind means dust and dust means sneezing on your crush’s face.

“Don’t sneeze,” Jongin reminds himself quite loudly and Sehun is suddenly confused before he let’s out a sigh in frustration.

It takes Jongin some time to tune into what Sehun is saying, because the next thing he knows, he’s being pulled by his hand (Sehun is holding his hand!!!!) and being loudly chastised through hall after hall.

“--I know you love dancing, but this is too much, even for you Kim Jongin. Thank god Taemin texted me so you better start writing an award-winning thank you card because you look like you're patient zero. Honestly, what if you hurt yourself? What if you passed out and cracked your head open? What then, dumbass?” Sehun keeps looking back at Jongin, emphasizing his worries while berating him. Jongin feels a swell in his chest from Sehun fretting over him.

“If nothing else, at least consider the fact that no one wants to be in a room with someone who could projectile vomit like the world’s worst kind of geyser--,” Sehun continues when he’s abruptly stopped mid-sentence as Jongin staggers backwards.

Jongin sways on his feet and Sehun hurriedly steadies him, eyes wide in worry despite how harsh his words seemed. Sehun masked his concerns for Jongin by chastising him, but Jongin knows his friend cares about him deeply, that he was just worried for his safety and health.

It’s always been that way, when Jongin needs someone, Sehun is steady by his side. Jongin’s mind then supplies him with memories that cemented his love for Sehun, remembers when he had hurt himself badly enough that he was banned from dancing for some time lest he cause permanent damage before healing properly, and Sehun had been the one to cry the most, unwilling to see his best friend disallowed from one of the things that was a big source of his happiness. But Sehun was wrong in assuming that most of Jongin’s happiness came from dancing.

Now, as Sehun assesses him diligently that he’s not hurt, or a moment away from passing out, Jongin can’t stop the word vomit from coming out of his mouth in a sudden rush of affection and love at being met with deep, dark eyes, the specks of freckles just under them, the pink of lips and the warmth of the other’s sturdy body despite his own feverish skin.

“I’m so in love with you,” Jongin slurs, smile numbing his face with how much he’s been uncaring of how long he’s held it since he saw Sehun at the practice room door. Jongin feels Sehun’s gasp, the sharp intake of breath, more than he hears it but in this state, nothing worries him.

Sehun’s mouth flutters between wanting to say something and thinning into a straight line.

“Uhm,” Sehun finally replies unintelligibly, before Jongin dives in for a kiss, mouth comically puckered and moving forward way too quickly before Sehun is ducking out of the way.

“Okay. Let’s get you to your place and into bed,” the younger catches Jongin before he can face plant onto the floor, gripping Jongin's shoulder tightly as he once again starts navigating him back to the dorms.

Jongin feels a sudden knot in his throat and his eyes sting just a bit.

“Sehun, I love you,” Jongin repeats with a quiver in his tone but he’s hushed quickly.

“I got you the first time.” It’s said like Sehun doesn’t want to deal with the information and Jongin has a brief moment of clarity.

“I meant it,” Jongin snaps and Sehun is suddenly being pushed away. Sehun is wide-eyed again, but this time it’s due to Jongin’s sudden turn on him. Jongin is on edge, close to crying in front of Sehun, the last person he wants to see him be in such a pathetic state. But he can’t help the stabbing feeling aching from Sehun’s dismissive response.

Sehun is quiet for a moment, pensive.

“Okay. How about this,” Sehun starts and Jongin glances up at him despite the oncoming headache brought on by his sudden heart ache (as well as his illness).

“I’ll only hear you out when you get better. And you can’t get better if you’re standing around confessing while you’re out of your mind.”

“Sehun--,” Jongin starts, almost letting his anger bubble out of him but is quickly cut off.

“I’m not saying I don’t believe you, but I’ll be damned if I’m getting my hopes up. It doesn’t count if you’re not even looking me in the eyes.” Jongin hadn’t even realized his gaze wasn’t focused on Sehun anymore.

Then, everything clicks way too slowly, and the gears in Jongin’s mind turn like it’s being hand-cranked by a geriatric that just took a lunch break.

“Huh—what?”

Sehun’s words finally start dawning on Jongin in his fever-addled mind. Sehun is looking down at his shoes, eyebrows deeply furrowed but his cheeks are almost as red as Jongin’s feverish ones. Sehun is shy. Nervous? Is he dreaming?

Jongin is definitely dreaming.

“Oh shit, I’m dreaming,” Jongin repeats, to which Sehun flicks his forehead quite harshly in mild annoyance. Oh shit, he’s not dreaming and ow that kinda fucking hurt.

_Oh._

“Oh.”

_Oh shit._

Jongin is floating, maybe he’s just sick, but _shit_ , he’s honestly ascending with the high of his feelings bursting at the seams. And it seems like Sehun is holding back just as much with the sudden stilt in his demeanor. Once again, he holds Jongin up against himself carefully and ducks his head as he begins to walk them through the building again.

“We’re not talking about this anymore. You’re going to rest and I’m going to take care of you because lord knows you won’t and then we’ll talk about this whole stupid confession thing when you’re better.” Sehun is babbling but Jongin is nodding his head throughout the whole speech, killing off more brain cells as his brain bounces around his skull.

Jongin never recovered so quickly in his life. 


	2. Let's talk then

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Still alive?”
> 
> Jongin freezes momentarily before he’s pushing himself up on his elbows.
> 
> “Hm. Technically?” Jongin’s voice lilts in question as he pats himself down.
> 
> “Good enough,” Sehun finally looks up at him, and his smile has Jongin’s heart flip.
> 
> \--
> 
> a follow up chapter lol

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sekai talk. its kinda dialogue heavy
> 
> sorry

Jongin wakes up feeling like he’s drenched in gallons of his own sweat. His hair is matted to his forehead and his saliva feels thick and sticky while his lips are dry and disgusting. In all, he’s alive and feeling miles better than the day before. He shifts around in his poor mattress, sheets clinging uncomfortably, and that’s when he realizes he’s not alone in his room as his vision adjusts. Sitting at his desk with his head stuck in a text book, Sehun quietly works, on Jongin’s shitty arm chair that doesn’t deserve the perky butt sat upon it.

_Good God_ , Jongin thinks, _reel it in_. _You’ve known Sehun for so long, there has to be some sort of self-control_.

Jongin studies Sehun, his smooth, freckled skin, the soft, dark hair just shy of falling over his eyes, his look of concentration, the perfect posture on a chair with questionable structural integrity, the thin, pretty fingers wrapped around a highlighter.

_No, there_ _isn't_ _’ any_ , and Jongin could and would die if Sehun demanded it.

Here’s hoping Sehun never has so much as a passing thought about it because the probable compliance is much too worrying.

Jongin indulges himself for a few more moments before Sehun suddenly speaks without taking his eyes off the textbook.

“Still alive?”

Jongin freezes momentarily before he’s pushing himself up on his elbows.

“Hm. Technically?” Jongin’s voice lilts in question as he pats himself down.

“Good enough,” Sehun finally looks up at him, and his smile has Jongin’s heart flip. There’s a lull before Sehun starts squirming a bit in place, and Jongin is confused as to why he’s uncomfortable.

Still, Sehun’s expression gives very little away when he cuts through the silence.

“You change your mind?” And Sehun’s eyes are focused, unrelenting, as Jongin feels lost at the question.

“About?”

Sehun searches for something in Jongin’s face before he tries focusing back on the work spread on the desk before him and failing.

“Forget it--,” Sehun mumbles hurriedly but then Jongin smacks his forehead and exclaims loud enough to have the other boy jump.

“OH! Yesterday...” Jongin’s voice becomes muffled as he buries his face in his hands.

“Of course yesterday,” Sehun snaps. “We’re supposed to talk about it. Since you’re not dying anymore and all.”

“Fuck. I made an absolute fool of myself, Sehunnie, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to do that to you.” Jongin visibly cringes, remembering he almost went in pretty hard trying to kiss Sehun. There’s a rustling, and Jongin peeks at Sehun, who has started collecting his things.

“Sehun?”

“So, what? Are you gonna tell me you regret what you said then?” Sehun says as he stuffs his papers and books into his bag, dangerously flat toned and—angry?

“No?”

At the tentative answer, Sehun pauses, eyes narrowing at Jongin. And, God, is it charming. But then again, Jongin really likes when Sehun does literally nothing at all.

  
“No.” Sehun reiterates slowly, unbelieving and Jongin tries finding a better answer than an unsure sounding ‘no’.

“Well..” Jongin starts, rubbing the back of his neck, “I do kind of. Regret it?” Sehun’s expression morphs and the insane tug at Jongin’s chest is unreal. He motions desperately as Sehun’s eyes turn a little misty.

“What I mean is, I had, like, this whole idea of how it was suppose to go down. I pictured having, I don’t know, an amazing sunset backdrop, this huge thing of flowers, and a confession straight from a novel or something, and instead I said it because I kept looking at your face and you were so hot because you were angry--do not ask, it’s a new thing--and it came out while I was sick and then spent the entire night face deep in the toilet which is literally the least sexy thing and now my mouth tastes like rotting flesh, I’m sweaty, and I’m still sweating because I’m nervous and--,” Jongin rambles anxiously until he jumps nearly into the ceiling when Sehun’s bag slips from his grasp to noisily collapse on the floor.

Sehun looks hopeful, so hopeful and it makes Jongin ache, wants to read his expression right, so he sits stock still.

“You like me, then?” Sehun asks in a tiny voice, eyes shining like the stars are in them, and Jongin looks at him like he’s insane.

“Man, I’m _so_ _in_ _love_ with you. ‘ _Like_ ’ is so out of the ballpark at this point. You do so much for me, you support me in every way, you take care of me and all I wanna do is take care of you too. So.” Jongin decidedly answers with his whole chest because as far as he’s made himself stupidly transparent, there just isn’t any need to run circles around Sehun anymore. His feelings are out there, in the open, spread eagle and bared out for Sehun.

Jongin is a slut for his best friend and that’s that on that.

And Sehun is giggling, leaving Jongin a little bit more in love and a little dumbfounded. The younger tries stifling it behind his hands, before he’s shaking with laughter, bending over with what Jongin guesses is the absurdity of it all. So Jongin can do nothing but laugh along with him, until his laughs turn almost silent and they both have a hard time catching their breaths.

Jongin does so first, because he’s in awe of Sehun’s rosy cheeks and shaking figure, with his crescent eyes and wide smile. That imagery is something he would cherish when he’s turned old and grey, and his life does one final reel of memories before he floats away. That final moment could be right then, and Jongin couldn’t have left the world happier.

But he’s lucky enough that it continues, watching Sehun fill with mutual love and affection and now Jongin’s the one that’s hopeful, holding his breath as Sehun exudes warmth that glows from the inside out.

“Your confessions are a disaster,” Sehun chides as he strides over to Jongin’s bed and flops down, causing Jongin to bounce before he’s moving to lay shoulder to shoulder with Sehun. Sehun closes his eyes and Jongin tries to focus on the ceiling as his heart hammers out of his chest. He needs to dust up there.

“Your bed’s so gross.” Sehun states as he moves so he’s on his side facing Jongin. He braces his head on one hand, elbow digging into the damp pillow under Jongin’s head.

“Oh yeah, I’m—I’m super dehydrated,” Jongin croaks, voice breaking. It’s like he’s sixteen again and just invited someone over for the first time. Except it’s Sehun and oh _fuck_ he’s looking right at him with such soft eyes and his impossibly pink mouth is super close and oh _shit_ that’s a problem.

Jongin shifts so his sheets bunch up a bit around his abdomen without being conspicuous. Sehun doesn’t seem to notice—at least Jongin hopes so.

With a content sigh, Sehun searches for Jongin’s hand and holds it.

“Sweaty,” he comments. Jongin snorts, mildly offended.

“Let go, then.”

“Nah.”  
  


“You’re complaining an awful lot though.”

“Not complaining, just stating facts.”

“‘ _Facts_.’”

“Yeah, facts. Like the fact that I’ve had the fattest crush on you since the first time I saw you in all your brace-faced glory.” Sehun finally confesses, smile small and eyes on the way their fingers intertwine. Jongin’s mouth gapes open. His mind recoils, tries troubleshooting, because--

“We were 14,” Jongin says in a bare whisper, because suddenly his throat feels a little tight.

“Yeah,” Sehun shrugs. “I was like ‘wow, he still looks so cute even though we can’t share popcorn.’ But also, even if I didn’t know what name to put to it, you were my best friend and I just couldn’t see myself without you in my life. Or see anyone else in your place. And I guess somehow it turned into more in the past couple of years.”

Jongin had liked Sehun for ages, but maybe he had been so wrapped up in his feelings he never thought Sehun may feel the same way. Jongin is somewhat saddened at the revelation that they could have been together earlier. They could have been each other’s firsts in so many things.

But it didn’t matter, doesnt, as they settle closer, breaths fanning over each other, Sehun’s natural scent filling the air. Jongin holds Sehun’s hand tighter.

“I guess I beat you to it, then,” Jongin starts, “Because I liked you since I first moved across the street from you when we were kids and your mom forced you to say ‘hi’ to me.” And Sehun’s breath stutters, before he’s burying his face in Jongin’s chest.

“Ugh, let me just have this,” Sehun reprimands, fist weakly hitting Jongin’s shoulder.

“How about this then.”

Sehun peers up at Jongin, eyebrow quirking up.

“What?”

“I’ll let you ask me to be your boyfriend.” Jongin smirks at him. Sehun merely rolls his eyes and, like a switch, his lips tug upwards, leaning in close, gaze heavy, and skin so, so kissable. Jongin tenses up like a diet coke bottle being fed an entire roll of mentos. His nerves alight as Sehun’s mouth forms the words he’s been waiting to hear for so long.

“Kim Jongin, will you be my boyfri--”

“Fuck yeah,” Jongin barely manages to say, breath rushing out of him.

Sehun laughs, an ugly, squack-y beautiful thing.

“Then that’s that.”

Too nonchalant, Sehun sits up, Jongin briefly panicking, before he’s swinging a leg over Jongins lap and sitting down, cathing the older off guard. Sehun’s face morphs into shock as he shoots back up. Slowly, he chances a look down between his thighs at Jongin’s failed attempt at concealing his even more pressing problem. And Jongin is just as stunned, a deer caught in the headlights because who would have thought Sehun would just randomly sit his pretty ass right on top of him. He looks so good there but Jongin had planned for a date or two at least.

A beat of silence. Then, to Jongin’s utter torture, Sehun sits right back down again as if he’s only getting comfortable, hips shifting just enough to flicker heat in Jongin’s gut. Jongin groans, hands shooting out atop Sehuns thighs, stopping him from moving at all by digging his fingers right into the bouncy flesh.

If Sehun so much as moves, Jongin’s bed is going to get even more gross embarrassingly fast. Like seconds fast. He’s on the verge of bursting.

“Sorry—God you’re so hot do you wanna go on a date later?” Jongin is a mess. Sehun looks way too smug as he spares Jongin and finally gets off.

“Later, then,” Sehun promises and Jongin counts his breaths. Sehun seems to reflect for a bit as he lets Jongin calm down.

“Is...is kissing okay?” Sehun asks, and it’s shy despite his earlier demeanor. Jongin blanks for a second before he’s loudly whining.

“If we don’t kiss now I’m going to make a formal complaint.”

Sehun hovers over him and Jongin’s chest tightens with anticipation. The other doesn’t kiss him right away, instead dragging his lips feather soft along Jongin’s jaw. He’s teasing, but Jongin has dreamt of nothing more than this moment, of how Sehun’s lips would feel, and so he cradles the back of Sehun’s head, guiding them both until they meet halfway.

It’s beyond anything Jongin has ever conjured up. Sehuns lips are so soft, and the way their arms wrap around each other feels like safety and warmth, love and forever. However, not everything has been exactly like planned, Sehun daring to kiss deeper only for his nose to immediately scrunch up, giggles on the verge of tumbling out. Jongin finally seems to notice his own bad, puke breath and super chapped lips and all around sweaty deal.

“Uhm, lemme brush my teeth real quick,” Jongin starts pulling the blanket off.

“Okay.”

“Super quick, a few minutes.”

He jumps out of bed, rummaging for some clean, or at least decent, clothes. Sehun just sits on the edge of the bed, leaning back on his hands still looking so handsome and well put together and Jongin has to rush back to kiss his cheek.

“I’ll be right back.” And he almost does turn back because good god, the bathroom might look clean but does it fucking reek of stomach acid. He clicks the door shut carefully, anyway.

Jongin now stands in the tiny space, skin buzzing with happiness and excitement with his now boyfriend just on the other side of the door. He’s still processing, reflecting, wondering if he actually did survive the flu. As he pinches himself and dictates that someone out there must really love him, Jongin doesn’t stop himself from jumping around, punching the shower curtain a few times and screaming into his pile of clean clothes.

He quickly washes his face and brushes his teeth, not caring that he’s put on his shirt inside out, and strides back out to see Sehun fixing his bed.

“I thought I was gonna have to drag you out of their myself,” Sehun says as he throws the pillows back on the bed. Once again, they’re flopping back down onto the just made mattress with Jongin considerably cleaner and mintier.

“Let’s try this again?”  
  


Sehun nods. The room shrinks down to just the two of them, confined in space and time.

Jongin wouldn’t mind if this was the rest of their lives. Kissing and talking and forgetting about their date. Huddled impossibly close, lips swollen and chests heaving with love.

This is it. All it could ever be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I dont kno how to do endings lol

**Author's Note:**

> ty for reading if u did i know they're not really substantive but! im getting through my phone drafts so here!


End file.
